Romance Scams in Australia: How to Spot and Avoid Them

Meeting someone online is ordinary now, and many warm, lasting relationships start that way. Romance scams take advantage of that hope. A scammer builds what feels like a genuine connection over weeks or months, then uses the trust they have earned to ask for money.

These scams are among the most painful, because they cost people their savings and their feelings at the same time. They can happen to anyone, at any age, and falling for one is no reflection on your judgement. This guide explains how they work and how to spot one, written plainly and without judgement. You will find more advice like this in our main guide to staying safe online.

How a romance scam usually works

It often starts on a dating site, on Facebook, or even through a friendly message that seems to arrive by mistake. The person is charming and attentive. They message often, they listen, and they say the things you hope to hear. They may send photos and have an answer for everything. What they will not do is meet in person or join a live video call. There is always a reason: they work overseas, they are in the military, they are on an oil rig, a contract has been delayed.

Once the bond feels real, the money appears. A medical emergency, a customs charge to release a parcel, a plane ticket so they can finally visit, or a once-in-a-lifetime investment they want to share with you. The amounts often start small and grow. Each request comes with a story and a reason it must be paid now.

The signs to watch for

• They will not meet in person or appear on a live video call, and always have a reason why.
• The relationship moves quickly. Strong declarations of love come within days or weeks.
• Eventually, money is asked for, often for an emergency, travel, or an investment.
• They want to move the chat off the dating site to a private app like WhatsApp.
• Their story has small contradictions, or their photos look too polished to be true.

A simple way to check

Ask for a live video call, not a recorded clip or a photo. A real person who cares about you will find a way. If they refuse again and again, that tells you something. You can also save one of their photos and search for it online using a reverse image search, which sometimes shows the same picture used under different names. If you are not sure how, a family member can do this for you in a few minutes.

Above all, talk to someone. Scammers work hard to keep you from doing exactly that, often telling you that friends and family will not understand. That secrecy is itself a warning sign.

If you think you, or someone you love, is caught in one

Be gentle. People in this situation are often embarrassed and may defend the person they believe they are in a relationship with. Pushing hard can make them close up. It usually works better to ask kind, curious questions and to share an article like this one rather than to accuse.

If money has already been sent, contact the bank straight away and ask them to stop any further payments. The sooner they know, the better their chance of stopping or tracing a payment.

Where to get help in Australia

• Your bank, first and fast, to stop or trace payments and protect your accounts. Use the number on your card.
• Scamwatch at scamwatch.gov.au, to report the scam. It is an online report, run by the National Anti-Scam Centre, and it helps warn others.
• IDCARE on 1800 595 160 or at idcare.org, Australia’s free identity support service, if you have shared personal details such as your licence or passport number.
• The Australian Financial Complaints Authority on 1800 931 678 or at afca.org.au, a free service, if you are unhappy with how your bank handles things.
• Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, for the emotional side. Losing a relationship and money at once is a heavy blow, and these calls are free and confidential.